“Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear Yahweh, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
Proverbs 3:5-8 ESV
A woman once asked me if I believed in “what’s meant to be.” She proceeded to ask me if I believed in marriage and if I wanted to ever get married. Then she asked (without giving me the chance to answer the first question) “Do you want kids? How many kids do you want?” I think you and I both know the intent behind these questions. I’ve fluctuated on where I land on this question, honestly. I’m sure I’m somewhere in the grey area; I would say I trust purpose more than I believe things are meant to be at this stage in life.
It seems as though believing things are meant to be has, in many ways, made relationships and dating a bit more difficult for younger people in particular because it can limit our experiences, while giving off the false sense of exclusivity and waiting for the “right” person, when in actuality most people are afraid of relationships and committing to doing what it takes to ensure that relationships work and grow. I don’t think most people are consciously aware they’re afraid of relationships. Most people resort to using their defense mechanisms to protect themselves when they feel threatened. The issue with relying on our defends mechanisms is that we will be stuck in a never-ending cycle until we realize that we are actually part of the problem. Most people who live life off the meant to be model of thinking feel that things should happen naturally and it will fall into their lap. It’s a dangerous beleif to have because it doesn’t value the process of growth and faith, and it assumes that struggle or things not lining up in the moment is a sign that things were not meant to be. As big a Disney enthusiast as I am, I know life is not a fairy tale and what God has for us while always require our vulnerability and trust in Him, not our subjective outlook on life.
What God purposes for us is related directly to our heart. God does desire that we all experience love, maybe not marriage or a romantic relationship, but love is a fruit of the Spirit. A challenging piece to experiencing the purpose of God in our lives is surrendering what things may look like and yielding to His lordship over our heart, intentions, and our desires. God has never called us to trust our gut, He calls us to trust Him, the one who purposes good things for us. God is more faithful to our heart and future than we are and what God has for us is for us, but in order for us to receive what is ours, we have to be prepared and strengthened to handle and be good stewards of those things. Preparation is one of the gifts of singleness and if there is someone we’re interested in, communicating, being honest, open, and direct about our feelings and boundaries can go a long way in the maturation, stability, and health of any relationship. An aspect of purpose does include our effort; things don’t happen just because. God purposes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All of these require intentional effort on our parts because our relationship with the Lord is a partnershipr and anything contrary to the purpose of God for our lives is never meant to be.
Until next time, continue to stay guided by grace,
Tra
Guided by Grace 