One of the realities of life is that trouble does not go away because we turn the page on the calendar. We can name it, claim it, blab it, grab it, call it, haul it, we can anoint 2022 in as much oil as we want, but the truth is, this year will be as ghetto as 1982, 1992, and 2002 were. As much as we want greatness and better, struggle comes along with it. Hardship is part of life and if we want to truly have better, live better, and do better, we have to adopt a lifestyle of resilience. Resilience is defined as “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.” Admittedly, this is a trait I desire to further develop. The primary factor of resilience is recovering. We recover from a stress that presses down on us so strongly that it deforms l us, changes our world, disorients us, discourages us, and makes us have a Marvin Gaye moment where we want to holler and throw up both our hands. Life has a way of pressing down on us. We cannot choose the struggles that come to our doors. We cannot choose which sicknesses and ailments plague our bodies. We cannot choose if someone will continue to love us or not. We cannot choose when and how our loved ones will die. But resilience is the choice of response to trauma that says, “This does not define me.”
Resilience involves confronting the things and the people that wound us. No, this does not mean we have to have a sit down with that person, but it does acknowledge pain caused by what happened. Resilience involves being truthful about our emotions and thoughts, yet not allowing them to consume us. We all have adapted to the moods and patterns of our defense mechanisms—some people isolate and retreat when hurt, others yell and lash out, staying in an angry place, others overwhelm themselves with shopping, eating, drinking, and other excesses. We all run to something when we feel threatened or afraid; we hide there, thinking we are defending ourselves when in actuality, harboring those ill -feelings, ignoring what happened, bottling things up, it all harms us more than helps us. Resilience allows us to be like Lazarus—resilience calls us out of the tomb, still bound with the hurt from the past, walking despite dragging what tried to hold us down, and full of life even in a dead place. That’s what resilience is. Choosing the response to not stay where we are is difficult, but thank God it is not impossible.
Can you name something that has deformed you in someway, made you distrusting of situations and people? What stresses have you been through that led to anxiety and depression? Take a moment and think about it. What has been your response to it? Anger? Heartbreak? Heartache? Defeat? Hope? If I can, I would love to use this moment to speak life into you: the fact that you can reflect on the things that hurt you shows it did not kill you; your purpose is not tied up there. The difference is how you choose to live after the fact. Our resilience tells a counter narrative and this counter narrative is always agrees with the word of God. Many people’s story is one of feeling like a burden to those around them, typically to those they love most, we meet experiences and people who make us feel unloved, misunderstood, judged, less than, not worthy, and sometimes we feel the extremity of being a mistake. Resilience pushes us to living out the complete opposite of these sentiments. It reminds us of who God says we are and what we mean to Him. Whether or not you were planned by your parents, God intended you to be here. And God does not make mistakes.
I’d love to tell you 2022 will be the year of this and the year of that, but let’s not forget the little mottos churches had about 2020 and look where we are two years later. I want to be honest with you— 2022 is going to offer more of the same old same old and it may intensify. Careers may not go how we want them to this year, goals may not get checked off, relationships and friendships will end, people will still get sick, people will continue to die both natural and traumatic deaths. Life won’t change in being cruel, inconsistent, and confusing, and we cannot control that. What we can do is prepare for the struggles we may face this year both professionally and personally. We can prepare by choosing to be better for ourselves, then for those who may depend on us. That choice is different for us all; “better” does not have a singular face. But we can all start at the same place: Remember the character of God does not change although life does. Even when things seem bad, God is good.
God is good. Always.
Until next time, continue to stay guided by grace,
Tra
Guided by Grace 