Life does not discriminate; it happens to us all.
One of the worst emotions to experience is loneliness. Have you ever been surrounded by people and felt disconnected, closed off, or not considered? Have you ever felt like no one understood what was happening to you, what you were going through, or why you feel however you do, despite their trying to do so? It can be easy to feel like life is only happening to you and that you are just “too much” to be understood. What makes it worse is that when people just don’t understand, they make up stories about your life and speak on your situation with authority. Feeling alone hurts.
Feeling as though no one cares can make healing more arduous than it should be. On the other hand, i’m connected to others in times of struggle is beneficial in the mental capacity of understanding worth and accepting the help offered to us. This also allows us to understand and be understood by those we love. It is important to remember that the trials we experience and endure are not unique to us. Someone else has walked down this same road—some struggles last longer than others and some more intense—but nothing that happens to us has only happened to us. Cultivating a habit of completing Bible devotionals or a simple reading is advantageous because we discover that even those who walked so closemy with God experienced heartbreak, grief, suffering, and obstacles that seemed too daunting to overcome.
One of the ways to remain connected and rooted in the comfort of knowing that life is not only happening to you is to find a core community of people who value accountability and confession. This requires authenticity with the self and others, a heart willing to heed advice and godly rebuke, and a persistent desire to be the best version of you. Having a community that holds us accountable keeps us from being led astray; it keeps us grounded in knowing that we are not an island but we are connected to each other and we need each other in order to survive and thrive. If your friends don’t correct you when you are wrong, they’re not your friends. Gosly friends are willing to call us out when we are not resembling God with our actions.
Here are a few exercises you can practice to remain grounded in knowing that you are not alone, you have immeasurable worth, and you are worth being there for yourself:
1. Practice generosity and compassion— this leads to a greater awareness of human struggle and develops empathy towards others. Giving from the heart, without expecting anything in return is one of the core teachings of Jesus, and it has been psychologically proven to increase mental connectivity to others and it makes being compassionate easier and more natural to express. Try incorporating being kind to others into your daily living. These acts of kindness can be as common as holding a door open for someone or simply giving money to someone in need.
2. Discover your self worth— One of my favorite passages of Scripture on self worth comes from Matthew 3:13-17. It’s a familiar passage of Scripture—the baptism of Jesus. Up to this point, Jesus has lived about thirty years of His life in obscurity. He has not performed any known miracles, He worked under Joseph as a craftsman. He lived in the small town of Nazareth (modern-day Ahoskie), and did nothing of significance. He was an everyday Jewish man, yet when He was baptized, the Father spoke from heaven and said: “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” Our worth does not come from the things we do. It comes from who we are. We all come into the world the same way and there aren’t too many people who would say that babies are not precious. That same feeling we get about babies should be how we view ourselves. Our worth flows from our essence, the fact that we exist is our worth and we are worthy of being loved and healed.
3. Become your own best friend— this is simply showing up for yourself. The way you strive to be present for others, do so for yourself. In order to do so, you have to learn how to leverage the compassion you have for others and pour into yourself. Love yourself the way you desire to be loved by others. A great way to begin this form of self-compassion is to focus on a trait or event that’s happened in your life that is unpleasant to think about. Imagine someone you love is struggling with this same issue. How would you respond to them? Try to respond to yourself in the same way. It’s not easy to become self-compassionate, but it is helpful to think about your response to others in your own situation and ponder the question: What makes me any less deserving of this same compassion?
Until next time, continue to stay guided by grace,
Tra
Guided by Grace 