The letter to the Roman church is one of the most well-known books of the Bible. It is also one of the most quoted. Romans 12:2 rings true when it comes to becoming more secure with who we are for ourselves primarily, and secondly, for those we love: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We have to renew our minds. We have to be transformed, or live a life that tell the story of God, the story that is true about who we are. We do this by constantly renewing our minds. We renew our minds by training our thoughts: we are to think positively and peaceably about ourselves and others. This task is not easy, nor is it a one and done ordeal. Renewing the mind is a venture that takes time and intentional work.
The brain is the most unique organ in the human body. Without it you cannot survive, even if all other parts of the body are functioning properly. The brain matures until well into young adulthood, some researchers say as young as 25 and others say the brain continues to grow and mature up to 33 years of age. Needless to say, some of the things we do in our youth is because we are immature and immaturity comes with having an immature brain. But one of the most amazing aspects of the brain is that it can always adapt. This process is known as neuroplascity. Neuroplascity is a process where the brain physically shifts and morphs to adapt to contain new information. Did you know that every word ever spoken to you, both good and bad, the brain holds on to? Whether you can consciously remember and actively retrieve this information, everything everyone has said, your brain has recorded it. Part of the reason we hold negative beliefs about ourselves is because the brain holds on to everything. The brain does not have autonomy—you do—so a chaeneg for us is to teach the brain what to hold on to and what to let go of.
One of the dangers of settling for knowing something is that the brain is a creature of the familiar, not the better. The brain does not seek out healing, the brain seeks out what it knows because it desires to feel safe, since the brain’s purpose is to ensure our survival. Whenever we begin adopting beliefs contrary to negative core beliefs (NCBs) about ourselves, we begin to perform what psychologists call confirmation bias, where we search for evidence that confirms our previously conceived negative beliefs about ourselves. The reason we perpetuate this toxic pattern is simply because it makes us feel safe. We have an “understanding” of what we need from others, even if it is a skewed understanding of who we are and what we need.
When becoming aware of our thoughts, it is important to remember that you cannot defeat anything you are not willing to confront. Paul encouraging the Romans by saying we are more than conquerors is not meant to be a refrigerator magnet or a bumper sticker; it is an encouraging challenge to face what has been holding us back. For many, it has been our thoughts. At times we think too much. It is quite possible to exchange safety for security and that is the purpose of the brain—safety. Security and stability does not come from the brain, it comes from actively challenging the brain to rethink, reshape, and deliberate decision making on what thoughts to hold on to and let go of. I couple RomNs 12:2 with two of my favorite Bible verses— 2 CorinthIns 10:4-5:
“for the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
Every thought can become captive to the truth of Jesus. Every thought can become subject to the words written in red—you are loved, pursued, you have been found, you are seen, cared for, counted, you are His.
Exercise: Looking the Enemy in the Face
This exercise is adapted and modified from Insecure in Love. This exercise is intended to demonstrate how powerful our thoughts truly are. It is also intended for us to become fully aware of what we think, how our thoughts affect us, and most importantly, it invites us to adopt a new beleif about ourselves. For this exercise you will need a quiet place to complete it.
1. Sit down in a comfortable spot; your bed, the floor, your favorite chair, as long as your are comfortable.
2. Slowly scan your body from head to toe— notice how you feel. is there any tension? If so, where? Is there any pain? If so, where? Tightness? Notice your heart rate. Do you have any habits such as lip biting or wiggling your fingers or toes?
3. Bring to mind a negative core belief you have about yourself. It could be your unworthiness, your unlovability, a physical insecurity like appearance or weight. Hold on to that one belief and repeat it to yourself.
4. Pay attention to how this thought affects you. What emotions or sensations are present? Did your heart rate spike? Did a memory appear in your mind, or a recurring fear?
5. Write down this thought and how you felt. Then, repeat this exercise, but this time, focus on a time you felt good about yourself. It could be a memory, a kind word spoken to you. time spent with your favorite person. Then write about how that good thought made you feel.
6. Invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you. What do you feel? What did you sense—smells, tastes, what did you hear, or even see? Be sure that in this invitation you express gratitude and a willingness for obedience. Ask the Holy Spirit if there is anything She would like to exchange your negative thoughts with.
Until next time, continue to stay guided by grace.
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Guided by Grace 