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Wednesdays are typically reserved for psalms, but today is no ordinary Wednesday. It’s Wednesday, August 4th, which means, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! Since today is a special day, I’ve decided to do a special post in honor of one more trip around the sun. There are 24 things I am thankful for today.

1. I am grateful that God had mercy on me enough to allow me to live to see my 24th birthday— or as the boys call it, my Mamba Year. I could go on and on about how grateful to God I am, but I’ll sum it up with an old school Baptist line: “If it had not been for the Lord who was on my side…”

2. I’m grateful for my family. All I can say to you is that I love you from the bottom of my heart and I pray I will have many more birthdays with all of you present.

3. I’m frateful for my friends. I have a great community of people around me who see me for who I am, not who they want me to be. They’ve kept me grounded throughout this year. I’m grateful for the people who saw past my flaws to choose to stay in my life and as I close the 23rd chapter of my life and turn to a clean page to begin my 24th, thank you to those who chose to stick around in my story. At the end of the day, you choose whether you stay or go. Thank you to those who decided to stay and see what the Lord would do.

4. I’m grateful for my therapist. My therapist said that I had to rearrange my circle of friends because I was surrounded by arrogant people who spoke with too much authority. It is easy to mask arrogance with maturity and wisdom when you’re surrounded by people who worship you. I’ve had to cut off a few spiritual friends within the last month. I feel lighter. I’m grateful for the lesson that you shouldn’t have too many people in your ear telling you what to do with your feelings, that’s how we become imprisoned in our minds about things that should be freeing. You do not have to follow every single piece of advice given to you in order to be in line with God’s will. Good advice can come from an good heart, but God has the last say. Lastly, I’ve learned that some of the worst advice comes from the adviser telling you what they’ve been through. Meet people where they are, not where you’ve been. Some of the best advice you can ever get is, “I don’t know, let’s pray on it together.”

5. I’m thankful for Las Vegas. I’m spending my birthday in Vegas and y’all…

6. I’m grateful for healing. More times than not when someone talks about healing it’s in the physical sense. I do need healing physically, absolutely, but have you ever had God regulate your mind? Fix a broken heart? Put a little pep in your step and some glide in your stride? Has God ever healed you on the inside? Has God done something in you so that now you can forgive what you thought you couldn’t forgive because what someone did to you was unforgivable? You can re-injure physical pains, but that healing on the inside, that’s that joy that the world didn’t give and the world can’t take away.

7. I’m grateful for a change of heart. I’m starting to have mercy on myself, a compassion that I’ve withheld from myself for too long. I’m also doing the same with others. My community has taught me, along with many other avenues of healing, that I’m worthy. And I don’t say this because I’m in a bad place or I’m trying to convince myself. It’s true. I am worthy of being loved. I am worthy of people who want to be with me. I am worthy of people who can see my flaws and want to work things out. I am worthy of people who are not scared of having difficult conversations. I am worthy of compassion, I am worthy of another chance, I am worthy of not being given up on. When people say they’re worthy of love, it’s typically in the romantic sense, but that’s missing the mark. The love you deserve can be received through friendships. Love is not all about romance, it’s about people. That’s it. The love you deserve begins on the inside, it begins with a new heart and a new mind. It begins with Jesus and it flows to your relationship with yourself. That love I deserve starts with me.

8. I’m grateful for solitude and silence. I don’t like too much noise. I like to sleep in sometimes. I enjoy meditating at 5am (I told y’all I was different), I enjoy going on walks until I feel the Lord tells me to go home for the day. I once walked 10 miles until I felt the Lord tell me I did enough. I enjoy reflecting and praying, I enjoy nature. If you ever want to find me, look for water—a fountain, pond, stream, doesn’t matter, I love the sound of rushing water. I feel more connected in silence and solitude than anything else.

9. I’m grateful for books. I love reading. I always have and always will. I enjoy reading what people who are learned in certain fields think about topics. I could read Walter Brueggermann, my favorite Old Testament theologian, all day. I love Marcus J. Borg, my favorite New Testament biblical scholar. I enjoy challenging my mind and my beliefs, I enjoy contemplating the pros and cons of what is presented in a book could mean for me practically. I’m particularly fond of nonfiction—auto/biographies, history, you name it. A book is the purest form of time travel and with the imagination and a book, you can go anywhere.

10. I’m grateful for my journal. There are some things that only the Lord and I know. My journal won’t tell on me. If you do not journal, please start. It is a form of self care, rest, and it can be a mode for greater spiritual growth.

11. I’m grateful for adventure. Life is the greatest adventure you can take. You’re going to take risks and fail. Sometimes surprisingly you’ll figure things out. I may be younger than most of you, but one thing I’ve realized real quick is there’s no manual for this thing called life. You live and learn. That’s what makes life worth living. I’ve learned I like trying new things. That’s how I realize what I like and don’t like. I’m thankful for adventure because life would be dull without it.

12. I’m grateful that i’m employed. With everything that’s going on. nuff said.

13. I’m grateful for art. I’m an artsy type of guy. I like to create things. I used to want to be an architect. I love to draw, writing, design, it’s part of being made in the image of God, the ultimate artist. One of my favorite forms of art is poetry. I love poetic expression; it allows for vulnerability and authenticity, even when you don’t have the words to express how you truly feel. Writing psalms and poetry has been therapeutic for me.

14. I’m grateful for animals—particularly dogs. Dogs can be some of the most empathic and unconditionally loving creatures you meet. I love dogs and they are a form of stress relief. Petting a dog for a certain amount of time can take away a lot of stress. I didn’t know that until I started living with a three year old pitbull/Labrador mix. She’s helped change my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

15. I’m grateful for financial awareness. I’m not a kid anymore and there’s alot to adulting and finances is a crucial part of that. You can’t adult without finances. I’m taking time out to learn more about finances and how I can be a better steward of my money. God calls us to be faithful over all His gifts and that includes our income. I can’t splurge because I had a bad day at work. I have to master the art of budgeting, I have to learn about credit card fees and what credit cards work best for me. I have to learn that being genrous with my money is a sign of trust in God. Yes, I said it. Giving is an act of dependency on God. I’ve never seen a broke generous person, but I know a lot of broke stingy people. Maybe David was right after when he said, “I was young and now I am old, but I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor their children begging bread.” The pandemic wasn’t an excuse to stop trusting God financially.

16. I’m grateful for being “legacy oriented.” What I mean by this is that life is bigger than just what I’m doing currently. It’s more than just the food I eat, the clothes I put on, or the woman I’m interested in; those are shallow, worldly things. Life is about legacy. In Genesis, Abraham plants a tamarisk tree as a sign of what God had done for him in keeping His promises. What’s interesting is that Abraham decided to show his gratitude by planting a tamarisk tree. For those who aren’t into botany, it takes about 80 years for a tamarisk tree to reach full maturity. That a lot of time to go into a tree. But the purpose of the tamarisk is to remind future generations of what’s already happened. A lot of people want their last name to become household names, some people have their face and their name for their brand and their logo, and that’s fine. More power to them. But my legacy is Jesus. That’s the name that will be remembered, not mine. The dove is the symbol of the Holy Spirit and that is why the dove is the logo for Guided by Grace. This is not about me—it’s bigger than me.

17. I’m grateful for beginning with the end in mind. This is related to the previous one, but I took a class back in college called Death, Dying, & Bereavement. It’s one of the most impactful courses I’ve ever taken because it’s the reality of all life. We’re all going to die. I used to be afraid of death. That’s what happens when you don’t talk about things, you become afraid of it, you avoid it, you ghost it, you block it, when you become afraid to confront something, and even someone, it becomes your god. I’ve come to accept the fact that i’m not immortal. I’m like everyone who has lived and gone on before me. One day I will see Him face to face for myself and I’ve made peace with that. You don’t start living until you’ve overcome the fear of dying. So knowing that I have a date with death one day has shifted how I live now. This may be my last birthday. This may be my last blog post. I don’t know when my time is coming I just know that it is, so I am living a life indicative of where I want to spend eternity. I want to be with the Father when it’s all said and done.

18. I’m grateful for comfort food. On a more lighthearted note, I switched up my diet a bit. I haven’t had doughnuts in months—MONTHS! Can you believe that? My new comfort foods consist of apples. carrots, kale, pineapples, they bring me comfort. I have to watch out overeating them though. Overeating is bad if you didn’t know. Fruits and vegetables are also healthy so I’ve been told.

19. I’m grateful for my game system. Every man deserves a game system and I don’t care if it’s Saga Genesis, every man needs to unwind and live out his fantasy of being in the NFL or NBA. And a good, God-fearing man has a PlayStation. I’m grateful for my PlayStation because I get to forget about the stresses and struggles of life. I get to focus on crushing the hopes and dreams of my friends and other people unfortunate enough to play me online. Gaming is something I’ve found out I truly enjoy; I stopped gaming when I was in college and became what’s known as a “casual.” I’ve gotten back into it and I’m thinking of entering a Madden tournament this year.

20. I’m grateful for open doors and closed doors. God reconciles and He closes and I’m learning to be grateful for both. They’re both a part of life and they should be seen as gifts, though closed doors hurt. God does more than open and close doors with people—jobs, opportunities, habits, passions, pursuits, they can all be open doors, and God may also be closing them. One of the most painful closed doors I’ve faced recently was learning that I won’t be marrying Megan Thee Stallion. That’s a closed door that still stings but y’all pray for m me, ya hear?

21. I’m grateful for the future. I’m trying to be as present minded as possible, but I’m excited for what God has in store for me. I don’t know what it is He’s planning and what’s coming up in this next year of life, but I’m grateful for the anticipation and expectancy that I haven’t seen God’s best yet. I’m excited to continue to heal, focus on ministry and myself, and enjoy life.

22. I’m grateful for the people who chose not to stay in my life. Thank you for teaching me I deserve better.

23. I’m grateful for last year. If it wasn’t for last year I wouldn’t have made it to this year. The last year or so has been rough for pretty much everyone. I’ve learned valuable lessons. lost things and people, but I’m still here. Most importantly, last year taught me that it’s truly nothing but the grace of God that’s guiding my every footstep. Despite how hard life can be, despite how many sleepless nights we have, and how much we may cry, no matter what we go through, if we’re alive to tell about it that means God’s kept us.

24. Last but not least, I’m grateful for YOU. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for supporting Guided by Grace. Thank you for supporting this ministry and it’s my hope and prayer that you would continue to do so. One thing I’ve learned as a blogger is that you never know who the face is on the other side of the screen and I want to present the gospel in a way that’s truthful to me. Sometimes I want to share my hurt and frustration, sometimes I want to share my most authentic self because that’s honesty all I can do. Sometimes I don’t want to shout about how good God is because some places He places us doesn’t feel too good at times. But whether I feel like it or not, no matter how tired I get, our God is worthy of all praise and worship and that includes us being honest with Him and each other. I pray this is a place that reminds you to take off the mask and be you. Be the person God made you to be. Thank you for being you.

I pray the Lord’s favor on my life in this next year. More than anything I pray for health and hope, love and peace, joy and strength, wisdom and understanding, discernment and discipline to follow the path God has laid out for me. May this year be better than last year. Lord, I may not have all that I want, but I have all I need. Thank You for one more day and one more full trip around the sun. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Until next time, continue to stay guided by grace,

Tra